Be the Change – Help Us Put Children First!

By: Kari Pendray, Parent Educator and Public Affairs Coordinator


Be the Change – Help Us Put Children First!

Join us for a 4-part interactive series on how we can find a solution to be the change we need in the world for children. Each week, we will move forward in the change process together for a common goal of putting “Children First.” Our inquiry begins with one question – “Why is it important to put children first?”

The Situation - Our Nation’s Children Are in Crisis

Before we can discuss solutions, it is necessary to understand the problem. In the last twenty years, not much has changed for children. Statistics of abuse and neglect are staggering. Unfortunately, however, we don’t really get to see much about this topic in the national media. The Every Child Matters Foundation reports that child abuse and neglect is a “national epidemic,” with over 2,500 deaths a year (see http://www.everychildmatters.org/home/coalition). Furthermore, this organization makes a bold claim that, “We are currently in a de facto blackout with the national media.”

The Cost to Our Nation

The estimated annual economic cost of child abuse and neglect was $103.8 billion in 2007 value (see
http://www.preventchildabuse.org/about_us/media_releases/pcaa_pew_economic_impact_study_final.pdf). These are the direct costs that go into intervention programs as a result of not investing in prevention. However, at the time of intervention, children have already experienced poor medical and mental health, poor school performance, risky and violent behavior, substance abuse and criminality. Children are our future. If we want our future to be bright, we need to act now and break the cycle of childhood abuse and neglect in the early years – before children experience these negative outcomes. By focusing on prevention, children will be healthy, safe, educated and better able to reach their potential in life, which will in turn allowing our nation’s to achieve its potential.

Information to Knowledge

We hear about the multitude of problems in our nation today, such as, war, poverty, school shootings, home invasions, healthcare crisis and corporate espionage. We have a choice on how to use this information. We can either choose to ignore it or be empowered by it. By being more intentional on how we obtain information, we can become more informed from a variety of sources. For example, when we see a story on a child who has been abused or neglected, how can we be a part of the change for the solution? How do we join together to shift our vision of a better future to focus on what is working well?

The Message of Change

Messages of change are a like a lighthouse that shines in the distance. We see the light from our ship in the sea amidst social, political and economic insecurity. One message remains clear, Americans have responded well to the message of change. We seem to agree that we want a brighter future for children, families and our community. This is good news! We have found common ground. If we are to seek change, we must first be the change. Here comes the interactive portion of this article. What do you think is working well with putting children first? Please share your response to this message of change?


About Deaconess Children Services:

Deaconess Children’s Services, founded in 1898, is the leading service provider of child abuse and neglect prevention programs in Snohomish County. Deaconess Children’s Services supports at-risk children and families with high impact, evidence-based prevention and early intervention programs that focus on building individuals’ strengths, positive relationships and supportive networks through parent education, child development and advocacy programs. To learn more, visit, http://www.deaconesschildren.org/ or call 425-259-0146.


 

From overwhelmed to more confident with the help of Project Safecare at Deaconess

Imagine being a single mother, caring for four children with a baby on the way, and feeling overwhelmed by the daily pressures of life and a house that has gotten out of control. When Jennifer began participating in Project Safecare there had been concerns about the safety of the home for her children. She also said that she had been having challenges with the behavior of her four and five year old sons, Jordan and Matthew. She said that they constantly fought with one another, screamed loudly when they did not get attention, destroyed their room, and ruined their mattresses. Jennifer and the children’s father were not sure what to do, but they knew they were in need of new tools to help them parent their children.


Those new tools came in the form of Deaconess Children’s Services’ Home Visitor, Kristine Siebens and an evidence based intervention known as Project Safecare. Project Safecare provides in-home support focusing on basic skills such as home safety, healthcare and parenting. Depending upon their commitment level, it takes anywhere from 15-21 weeks for families to complete the program. This family was committed to making changes.

Jennifer quickly finished the health curriculum and soon moved on to home safety. Her home was evaluated for safety hazards and she learned how to remove the hazards and make her home safer for her children. During that time, she had continued to have challenges with the children’s behavior. Every week Jennifer actively sought information about parenting, even before starting to work on that portion of the program. She and her Home Visitor, Kristine discussed setting up rewards charts for the boys to help encourage them to be kind to one another and set up chore charts for the older children.

When they began work on the parenting module, Jennifer was excited learned new skills to help to make challenging activities go more smoothly with Jordan and Matthew. As she progressed in the program, she began to praise the children more frequently. She also began to establish firm rules and follow through with the limits that she set. Jennifer began to notice positive changes in Jordan and Matthew’s behavior; they listened to her more and began to share more readily with one another. They also began to reduce their screaming and asked Jennifer for what they wanted, rather than demanding it.

Since graduating from the program, Jennifer says that when she is in new situations or feels overwhelmed and unsure how to handle a circumstance, she works through the steps from Project Safecare. She said she finds this process helpful. Jennifer continues to work through parenting challenges with Jordan, Matthew and her other children. She feels that with the tools she learned at Deaconess she is able to be a better parent.

What's in the glass?

Many of us have been asked the question, "Do you see the glass as half empty or half full?" The question is supposed to tell the asker how you view the world, as a pessimist or an optimist, as if one is better than the other. A naturally optimistic person, I see both perspectives as necessary, especially in the work that Deaconess Children's Services does. A healthy dose of optimism goes a long way. However, according Austrian researchers, "people in negative frames of mind are more alert to — and therefore more healthily suspicious of — their surroundings, compared to those in more positive frames of mind. A dose of pessimism seems to aid critical thinking." (September 2010; odemagazine.com)

The article, "In Defense of Pessimism," goes on to quote Julie Norem, a psychology professor at Wellesley College in Massachusetts, who believes pessimism can be a performance-enhancing state of mind. Norem cites the example of a public speaker who is always nervous before a performance. "Convinced that the next talk will be a disaster, the prospective speaker imagines tripping over the microphone cord, crashing the PowerPoint presentation, or forgetting large portions of her speech. Because she’s so worried, she puts extra time into preparation, with the result that every speech is a resounding success."

However, according to the article (here's the balance part), "pessimists still need a dose of optimism to see possible alternatives and develop strategies to pursue them." Optimism is healthy too. It can protect against depression and anxiety disorders and promote emotional resilience. Optimists generally have better physical health than pessimists as well. Optimism even helps us cope more effectively with stress, affecting the immune system in largely beneficial ways. Optimists generally have wide social networks, which can also confer additional health benefits.

It's important to remember that both optimists and pessimists are necessary in our world and in our work. If everyone always only viewed the glass as half full, we would be likely to make some drastic errors or have a skewed perspective. Pessimists force us to look at both the upside and the downside of every decision. In other words, we need people to see the glass as half empty.

Better yet, perhaps we need people to ask a different question altogether, "What's in the glass?"

Thank you, Merci beaucoup, Mucho Gracias, Grazie, Спасибо (Spasibo)

You get the idea...

On October 1, 2010, Deaconess Children's Services and 150 guests celebrated 113 years of putting children first at our 6th Annual Father and Mother of the Year Awards ceremony. The evening had a masquerade theme and included beautiful desserts, great raffle prizes, a wine auction, our trademark fashion show and inspirational speeches by teen father, Alex Arellano, Snohomish County Executive Aaron Reardon, our Father of the year, Manny Garcia and our Mother of the Year, Holly Leach. For the planning committee, the event was a huge success. Everyone who came was re-introduced to Deaconess' mission and the work carried out by staff and volunteers every day with and on behalf of local children...oh and there was also plenty of fun to be had.

Events like the Father and Mother of the Year Awards take countless hours of planning and immeasurable amounts of energy by staff and volunteers to "pull off". We at Deaconess Children's Services would like to say thank you to all those who helped make the event such a success:

Event Sponsors:
Union Bank
Panasonic Avionics Corporation
Princess Cruises & Tours
Renee's Contemporary Clothing
Whitfields Insurance
Goodwill Industries International, Inc.
Sierra Media
Accents in Glass
Ben Bridge Jewelers
Port Gardner Bay Winery
Middle Sister Wines
Felicia
Camille's Cupcakes
Pave' Everett
North Marysville Albertsons
Trader Joe's
Marysville Haggen's
Jennifer Lang
Gary Rhodes
Latinos Unidas

Models:
Sue Amber
Debra Andre
Teresa Arnett
Josie Decker
Carolyn Johnston
Renee Peterson
Sharon Snell
Dr. Michelle Steinhubel DDS

Event Volunteers:
Debbie Bivens
Crystal Davis
Jennifer Lang
Vikki King
Chase King
Al Warren
Peggy McMiller
Matt McMiller
Holly Murphy
Debbie Whitfield
Adela Leggett
Sue Ruscha

Deaconess Board of Trustees:
Gary Rhodes
Kate Reardon
Pat Dodson
Marilyn Hanan-Hoover
Felicia Freeman
Bryan Bird
Dick Harsin
Anne Hayes
Rev. J. Allan Ocampo

Deaconess Staff:
Janice Anderson
Felicity Abeyta
Teresa Abeyta
Chris Boyd
Gina Boyd
Chanelle Carlin
Felicia Freeman
Adrienne Hall
Steven Kemberling
Anna King
Jenny Martin
Kelly McClain
Sandy Neumann
Courtney Orr
Kari Pendray
Wyonne Perrault
Stacey Pfeiffer
Marie Preftes-Arenz
Angie Scharbau
Kristine Siebens
Jami Voigt

Each and everyone of you makes a huge impact. With your support, Deaconess Children's Services serves over 3,500 at-risk children, birth to 18 years, and their parents throughout our community. Using high impact, evidence based prevention and early intervention programs, Deaconess transforms the lives of children throughout the Pacific Northwest and breaks the cycle of child abuse and neglect.

Thank you SO much! Know that you matter and you make a difference.

Who makes up Deaconess Children’s Services?

Meet Child Development Facilitator, Kelly McClain

Deaconess is staffed by 9 full time staff, 9 part-time staff and hundreds of volunteers, who serve over 3,000 children and their parents each year and work to break the cycle of child abuse and neglect by providing high quality, evidence based prevention and intervention services.

While each program at Deaconess compliments the others, one of our programs by its very nature directly supports all the others…specifically, our Child Development Program. Child Development at Deaconess Children’s Services provides every child the opportunity to become unique, confident and caring individual through identifying and helping to develop their individual strengths, fostering their hope in becoming the greatest version of themselves. By providing a safe place, Child Development Facilitators at Deaconess create an environment where children can seek support, have fun, share their feelings, learn new ways to communicate, listen, learn, be creative and be accepted for who they are.

The child development staff and volunteers at Deaconess play a vital role in making the programs at Deaconess successful. One of these amazing people is Kelly McClain. For the past 3 years, Kelly has been one of Deaconess’ dedicated and committed Child Development Facilitators. In addition to weekly children’s groups, Kelly also provides weekly transportation to the families that we serve, ensuring the families make it to their classes safely and on time.

According to Deaconess Child Development Coordinator, Anna King, Kelly has dedicated her time each week caring for children of all ages primarily in the Incredible Years Parent Education Programs. Her passion for working with children and families radiates and becomes contagious to those working around her. Over the years, Kelly has developed skills working with challenging children, becoming a consistent positive role model. The children in these programs have been able to connect with Kelly and establish a healthy bond with her.

Kelly has another life outside of Deaconess too. She also has many years of experience coaching and teaching children’s theater. This experience and knowledge in theater have allowed Kelly to provide enriching new activities and adventures for the children. Kelly strives to use her knowledge, enthusiasm and passion to provide a fun, encouraging, supportive environment for these children each week.

From day one, Kelly has also been proactive in her efforts to create positive relationships with her fellow staff and volunteers, making her an exceptional leader all around. Kelly McClain has been a blessing to Deaconess, sharing her enthusiasm and outstanding dedication to the Deaconess Child Development program. We are thankful to Kelly and the entire Child Development team for their outstanding support of the Deaconess child.

Why We Give - Chris and Linnea Covington

By: Chanelle Carlin

For 113 years, Deaconess Children’s Services has been transforming the lives of children throughout Snohomish County and the Pacific Northwest. We have not done it alone, nor could we hope to. Like many organizations serving our community, Deaconess relies heavily upon the generosity of individuals and businesses that support our mission. With their donations, staff and volunteers at Deaconess are able to help make children’s lives safer and brighter, thereby ensuring their future as well as ours as a society. Two of these amazingly generous people are Chris and Linnea Covington, owners of Structural Design Associates and Port Gardner Bay Winery (of Everett, Washington). Chris and Linnea are very active in their community, supporting many organizations with their time, money and seemingly endless amounts of energy and enthusiasm.

I recently had an opportunity to speak with Chris and Linnea about their reasons for giving to Deaconess. Linnea, a psychologist, said she’s always been familiar with Deaconess. She has seen families struggling with many challenges come to Deaconess for support and within a short period of time those same families were experiencing success. Chris, on the other hand, was not as familiar with Deaconess personally. When asked why he feels compelled to give, Chris shared a story about his father who was a carpenter. His dad used to help neighbors fix items around their homes and build things they needed, but would never take any payment for his work. It was just his “little way of giving back,” which is exactly why Chris says he gives.

Well, Chris and Linnea, thank you. Thank you for helping Deaconess to transform the lives of children. While you may consider your efforts to be small gestures on your part, we consider them HUGE and we greatly appreciate your generosity and willingness to serve your community in all the ways you do.

Raising Hands

In this day and age, with everyone as busy as they are, it can be easy to forget to say thank you. This is the purpose of today's article.

Last Saturday evening, Deaconess President, Felicia Freeman and I had the opportunity to attend the Tulalip Tribes "Raising Hands" event at the Tulalip Resort. According to Mel Sheldon, Chair of the Tulalip Tribes, it is traditional at Tulalip to "raise their hands" to applaud and give thanks to those who have given to them. At this event, they "raised their hands" to the many organizations in our region that contribute to our communities.

For those of you not local to this area, and for those who are, some of you may be wondering who the Tulalip are. The Tulalip Tribes are federally recognized successors in interest to the Snohomish, Snoqualmie, Skykomish and other allied tribes and bands signatory to the Treaty of Point Elliot. Their 22,000 acre reservation is home to about half of the tribe's 4,100 members and hundreds of non-native residents. Tulalip is also the third largest employer in Snohomish County, employing over 5,000 throughout the reservation.

Over the past 17 years, the Tulalip Tribes have donated almost 39 million dollars encompassing more than 250 organizations a year. Deaconess Children's Services' has been one of the organizations to benefit from Tulalip grants. Each of the funded organizations is equally worthy and I'm sure equally grateful for the financial assistance provided by these grants.

As a guest, it is an honor to be invited to "Raising Hands," Not only is it a beautiful ceremony, but it's also a fun event. Upon arrival, we were graciously greeted by Mel Sheldon, the Chair of the Tulalip Tribes, who thanked us for giving up our Saturday evening to celebrate with them. With over 500 guests in attendance, Raising Hands was a veritable "who's who" of our region's social service providers. As Mel said, it's a great opportunity to catch up with old friends and meet new ones. It's a good time to find out how others are serving our community.

The evening's program began with a formal presentation of the flag by the Tulalip Veterans and an Invocation by Marie Zackuse, Secretary of the Tulalip Board of Directors. Steve Gobin, General Manager of Quil Ceda Village greeted the guests and introduced Chairman Mel who welcomed us officially. During dinner, we were also treated to an informative talk with Tulalip's Chief Financial Officer, Chuck James. Keeping the details to himself, Mr. James assured everyone that tjhe tribes' finances are strong, allowing them to continue to employ as many local folks as they do and to continue their philanthropical work.

For me though, the hightlight of the evening (aside from the amazing meal) was the moving performance by the Tulalip Singers. This year, they also performed a song by the Makah Tribe and invited visiting Makah to sing with them. The Tulalip singers include people of all ages, young and old, all of whom sing and drum passionately. As I closed my eyes during the performance, I found myself feeling as if I were transported out of the room and in the midst of nature, completely relaxed. The ceremony ended with a gorgeous dessert and an opportunity for each guest to raise their hands to each other. If you ever get the opportunity to attend a Raising Hands ceremony, I urge you to go. You will leave feeling good about yourself, your community and full from a very healthy meal.

Thank you Tulalip Tribes for your support and for honoring the work we all do. We raise our hands.

Never Again...

Next Tuesday, September 21st is International Day of Peace, a day set aside by the General Assembly of the United Nations to encourage all mankind to work together toward a goal of world peace. While the first Day of Peace was in 1982, it wasn't until 2002 that September 21st was designated as the permanent International Day of Peace. In the spirit of peace, I'd like to share with you a story:

Robbie Waisman was born in Skarszysko, Poland and is the youngest of six children. He was ten years old when the Nazis invaded his town and was fourteen years old when he was liberated from Buchenwald Concentration Camp. Robbie eventually emigrated to Canada as part of the Canadian War Orphans Project, which saw the admittance of over 1,000 Jewish children to Canada.

For many years Robbie did not tell anyone of his experiences, except his wife. However, when he heard there was a teacher in Alberta, Canada who was telling his students that the Holocaust was a myth, Mr. Waisman decided the time had come to share his experiences and, since then, he has spent a great deal of time speaking to high school students and other groups, including our own Everett Rotary Club, which is how I came to hear his story. Today, Mr. Waisman is the President of the Vancouver Holocaust Education Centre and as an educator-speaker, as part of the Survivor Outreach Program; he has shared his experiences of the Holocaust with thousands of students.

He was a child when he was imprisoned and forced to slave in a concentration camp and he was a teenager when he was liberated and moved to a foreign country on his own. He survived the trauma of losing his parents and siblings and then growing up in a world where few understood what he'd been through. Over the years, he has transformed his life.

Mr. Waisman recounted that when he was young and the concentration camp was liberated, a promise was made..."Never again," which he took to heart. He has spent his later years working toward that goal: that the world must never allow what happened during WWII to happen again. Unfortunately, as Mr. Waisman pointed out, it is happening again. Not only in other parts of the world such as the Darfur region of Sudan, the Democratic Republic of the Congo (formerly Zaire), Cambodia and others, but children are neglected, abused and trafficked right here in the Pacific Northwest.

So why is Deaconess Children's Services writing a blog article about International Peace Day and the story of a Nazi Holocaust survivor? Most of you are familiar with the mission of Deaconess Children's Services. For 113 years, Deaconess has been putting children first and transforming the lives of children throughout the Pacific Northwest by breaking the cycle of child abuse and neglect. We can't do it alone - we need your help.

I know...those words are enough to strike fear in the hearts of most adults, but before you run away with anxiety, I'm not asking you to do anything too difficult. Children who experience neglect and/or abuse experience similar feelings of trauma, loss and fear that Mr. Waisman described in his story. Most of us agree that it is never acceptable for a child to be abused, starved, neglected, tortured, trafficked or enslaved, and that it is even worse when adults fails to act and protect them by preventing it from happening in the first place. Unfortunately, we don't always know how to act. Below are four, very practical, none too scary ways you can help:

1) Spend quality time talking with and playing with your children, or children in your life. Let them know how much they matter to you.

2) Volunteer your time in your community, helping children and others. Each of us matters to one another.

3) If you're able, donate money to a cause you feel strongly about, perhaps one that supports at risk children and youth; victims of abuse, violent crime or war; or one that prevents these issues from arising in the first place. It doesn't have to be much, whatever you have to offer. Every little bit counts...it all matters.

4) Visit www.internationaldayofpeace.org. Anyone, anywhere can celebrate Peace Day. It can be as simple as lighting a candle at noon or just sitting in silent meditation. It can even involve getting your co-workers, organization, community or government engaged in a large event. Imagine the impact that millions of people in all parts of the world, coming together, one at a time, for one day of peace, would have. It matters. You matter...we matter.

Perhaps, if each of us does just one thing in our community for someone else, we can eventually say..."it will never happen again."

How do you or will you show others they matter? We'd love to hear from you.

Putting Children first while honoring Fathers and Mothers

It is said that being a parent is the most difficult job in the world and the one that most parents will tell you they love the best. Much research and attention has been devoted over many years to motherhood and its vital role in the rearing of children. Deaconess Children’s Services wholeheartedly acknowledges and supports this research. However, we all know that mothers cannot and should not be solely responsible for rearing the next generation of our society.

The statistics are staggering. Almost 24 million American children grow up in a home without a father and nearly half of those children have not seen their father in the previous year! To create a climate for men to remain involved with their children and be committed to providing financial support even if their adult relationship is no longer intact, fathers must believe their role is vital and that they have value themselves. Mothers must believe that fathers will step up to a shared parenting role, that their children benefit greatly from involvement with their fathers and encourage them to spend time with their children even when the adult relationship is over.

Children who have close relationships with their fathers have higher self-esteem, better academic performance, more positive social behaviors and fewer behavioral issues during adolescence. This even holds true with children involved in the child welfare system. Studies of these children show that those who have contact with even a non-custodial father within the past year were 46% less likely to enter foster care. Deaconess works with parents for the sake of vulnerable children for this very reason.

At Deaconess, we feel it’s important to recognize the vital role that mothers and fathers play not only in their children’s lives, but also in our community. On October 1, 2010, Deaconess Children's Services will celebrate 113 years of putting children first by hosting the 6th Annual Father and Mother of the Year Awards ceremony at Forest Park in Everett, WA. It's going to be a great night including beautiful desserts, a wine auction, a raffle with fabulous big ticket items, including a 50” Plasma TV donated by Panasonic Avionics Corporation, our trademark fashion show for the moms, inspirational speakers for the fathers, and much, much more!

So…mark your calendars for October 1st, pick your favorite bottle of wine to donate to our wine auction, program your GPS for Forest Park and join us for this free event!

Event Specifics:

Who: Deaconess Children’s Services
What: Father and Mother of the Year Awards
When: 6:00pm-8:00 pm on October 1st, 2010
Where: Floral Hall, Forest Park @ 802 E. Mukilteo Blvd. Everett, WA 98203

Please RSVP with Stacey Pfeiffer at 425-259-0146 or spfeiffer@deaconesschildren.org

We look forward to celebrating with you!

Two Words...oops

I'd first like to say thank you to everyone who took the time to read yesterday's article, "Two Words." It's gratifying for us to have the community acknowledge other members of the community supporting our children.

It seems we were remiss in thanking one group, so now seems like a good time to correct that mistake.

Gary Rhodes and the Road Kill Crew didn't just donate 10 pounds of prime rib. They also donated the full use of the banquet facility at the Marysville Masonic Center, meal preparation, and 80 pounds of Angus Rib Roast (Prime Rib), plus all other components of the dinner.

Thank you again to Gary, the Road Kill Crew and all the other volunteers and donors to the event. You made it successful and you allow Deaconess Children's Services to continue putting children first and transforming the lives of children by breaking the cycle of child abuse and neglect.

Two Words...

There are two words that, when spoken, have the most unfathomable power to completely change your life…THANK YOU.

Recently, a Hot August Nights fundraising event was held in Marysville, Washington to raise funds for some of our programs. Deaconess would like to say Thank You to everyone who helped make it such a huge success!

First, to our dedicated Deaconess volunteers and their families/friends who continue to offer their time and energy whenever asked:

*Deborah Bivens – serving the wine and singing for the guests
*Rebecca Fernandez – set up and clean up volunteer
*Sandy Fletcher – car show and clean up volunteer
*Bill Kehle – clean up volunteer
*Melissa Lewis – clean up volunteer
*Matt McMiller – set up and clean up volunteer
*Peggy McMiller – set up and clean up volunteer
*Holly Murphy – event coordinator and all around magician
*Jim Murphy – car show volunteer
*Shawna Murphy – car show volunteer
*Tricia Murphy – car show volunteer
*Mollie Ragland – set up and clean up volunteer
*Al Warren – set up and clean up volunteer
*Jed Wheeler – clean up volunteer

The following business and individuals also contributed items or time in support of The Deaconess Child at the Hot August Nights event:

* David George Jazz Quartet, Seattle, WA for delighting us with their great music for the evening;
* Chateau Ste. Michelle for contributing for 2 cases of wine;
* The Vintage Chevrolet Club of America and other classic car owners for donating their time and vehicles to support our event;
* Blockbuster on 20th & Broadway for the “Night in at the movies”;
* Governor Christine Gregoire for designing the beautiful handmade purse;
* Smokey Point Massage for donating 2 massages;
* Gary Rhodes for donating his huge 27 pound freshly caught king salmon;
* Caryl Estes & the Estes Group for the Flameless Candle Collection;
* Holiday Inn of Everett for the Overnight Stay;
* O’Reilly’s Auto Supply for hosting the car show site;
* J.L. Scott Realty for hosting the car show site;
* Antonville Winery for donating 16 bottles of wine;
* Gary Rhodes and the Road Kill Crew for donation of 10 pounds of cooked prime rib;
* Boy Scouts of America – Marysville Troop 84 for their help in serving dinner; and
* Job’s Daughters – Bethel 50 who also graciously served our guests dinner and throughout the evening.

The following grocery store bakeries donated desserts for our Dessert Dash:

* Central Market-Mill Creek: Jim Huffman, Manager, Debra, Megan and your Bakery Team
* Safeway-75th and Evergreen Way: Tom Novak, Store Manager and your Bakery Team
* Albertsons-Madison and Evergreen Way: Joe, Store Manager, Dawn and Bakery Team
* QFC-Claremont: Linda Scholl, Store Manager, Judy, Bookkeeper, and the Bakery Team
* Safeway-41st and Rucker: Gwynn, Store Manager, Linda, Cat and your Bakery Team
* Albertsons-Marysville (4th and State): Sherry, Store Manager and Bakery Team

We’d also like to recognize some of our local representatives and personalities that contributed to the success of the event:

* John McCoy, Washington State Representative for District 38;
* Mike Sells, Washington State Representative for District 38;
* Mark Roe, Snohomish County Prosecuting Attorney and his wife, Lisa Paul;
* Shahram Hadiam, Candidate for State Representative; and
* Marlee Ginter, KOMO 4 News Reporter, for graciously emcee-ing our event.

A huge Thank Youto each one of you for your support of the Deaconess Child. We can’t thank you enough.

Eliminating Transitions

Each day the Child Care Exchange sends out informational emails on the world of Early Childhood Development, Education and Professional Development, which I try to share with you. For more info or to receive their emails directly, please see their website at Child Care Exchange.
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Barb Gallick and Lisa Lee’s article, "Eliminating Transitions," talked about the challenges transitions present for children and adults. While it is primarily geared for those working in Early Childhood and child care settings, I believe the information is also useful to parents who are helping their young children learn to transition from one activity to another.

"As adults, we often find ourselves transitioning from one activity to another in a short time span. Most of the time, we don’t feel we have a lot of control over our schedules, but wish that we could carve out extended time to relax and focus on one project.”

If we relate this scenario to the way a daily schedule unfolds in an early childhood setting, we might begin to see how young children feel each time we ask them to transition from one activity to another. Picture a group of children in the block area who have spent 15 or 20 minutes building an elaborate car wash. They have just gotten to the point where they will be using cars to develop a story and act it out when the teacher says it’s time to clean up for snack. Of course, after snack there’s group time and then the class will be heading outside. Are these children also wishing that they could have had an extended time to relax and focus on enjoying their car wash and the dramatic play possibilities? Do they also feel like they have no control over their schedule?

"Having a daily schedule that creates routines for young children is an essential part of every child’s life whether at home or in an early childhood classroom. Whether the head teacher in an early learning classroom or the parent who home schools their children, evaluating the daily schedule on a regular basis is an integral part of creating an environment that meets the needs of both the children and adults who ‘live’ in that ‘classroom’ each day. We would suggest that you look (with a critical eye) at your daily schedule once a year to determine whether it works for you and the children. One of the most important things to consider when reviewing your schedule is the number of transitions that occur throughout the day.

"Transitions tend to be some of the most difficult and stressful moments in an early childhood classroom. At these times teachers often find themselves dealing with more challenging behaviors and feeling more like police officers than nurturing caregivers. If you are feeling uncomfortable or frustrated during transition times, that is a sign that your current schedule may need to be revised to better meet the needs and developmental levels of the children in your care."

For more specific tips, or to read the entire article, please go to: http://www.childcareexchange.com/resources/view_article.php?article_id=5019448&page=3&keyword_id=

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DEACONESS call to Parents:

You are the experts when it comes to your children and we would love to hear from you. Please feel free to comment or send us an email at info@deaconesschildren.org and let us know what you would like to see on our blog.

Please feel free to join us on Facebook as well at Deaconess Children's services.

Gender Differences

Each Day, the Child Care Exchange sends out informational emails on the world of Early Childhood Development, Education and Professional Development, which I try to share with you. For more info, please see their website at www.childcareExchange.com.
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".... There's very little solid evidence of gender-based differences in kids' brains," reports Lise Eliot, author of Pink Brain, Blue Brain (Boston: Houghton-Mifflin, 2009), in Work & Family Life (December 2009). "To be sure, there are natural differences. But these become magnified through our parenting, marketing, and especially through children's own culture. Indeed, infant brains are so malleable that small differences at birth become amplified over time as parents, teachers, and the culture unwittingly encourages gender stereotypes."

Eliot does, in fact, discuss differences that do exist in the earliest years...

"Early in infancy, boys are a bit larger but, surprisingly, are more vulnerable than girls. They are more likely to be fussier, harder to soothe, and, by three or four months of age, less socially attuned. Boys' senses of touch, smell, and hearing are likely to be a little less acute than girls' — and their language, memory, and fine motor skills also lag during the first year of life.

"Where boys do tend to excel is in their gross motor development — sitting, standing, and walking at the same ages as girls, despite their slower maturation. While girls are easier to care for and more socially aware, they typically do not get as much encouragement as boys do for their physical development and emotional independence — two concerns that become pronounced later in childhood but can be addressed in infancy. The earlier parents are aware of the particular needs of boys and girls, as well as the power of gender stereotyping, the better chance they will have to help kids reach their full potential."

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DEACONESS call to parents:

In our experience, gained working with thousands of children and parents over the last 112 years, some children will fit the desciptions in this article and some will not. Please comment and tell us about your experiences as you've watched your child(ren) move through their developmental stages and the things you've noticed. We love to hear from you.

Excellence and Frivolity

Each Day, the Child Care Exchange sends out informational emails on the world of Early Childhood Development, Education and Professional Development, which I try to share with you. For more info, please see their website at www.childcareExchange.com.
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"Are you having fun? It's one of the best indicators of organizational vitality — yet we don't value it much." This is what Nancy Austin asserts in her book (authored with Tom Peters), A Passion for Excellence (New York: Grand Central Publishing, 1989). She observes that one of the "8 tough lessons" in the pursuit of excellence is to "inject the frivolity factor":

"While most of us would like to work for (or be) the accessible, accountable enthusiast whose eyes light up when talking about a new product or service, it somehow doesn't seem right. When I was in graduate school, "fun" and "passion" weren't part of my business vocabulary. Instead, we were drilled in emotional detachment and control. And complicated busi ness terminology — instead of plain English — was held up as the preferred language of the professional manager.

"That kind of thinking puts a damper on the enthusiasm that should be part of a successful and well-run enterprise. A fun business atmosphere can cultivate customers as well as good ideas — so lighten up!"

One of the ways we “lighten up” here at Deaconess Children’s Services is through regular, free to in-expensive team building activities which include coffee team meetings, lunches, hiking trips and even the odd wintertime holiday shopping excursion. It gives us a chance to bond with one another, which helps make Deaconess a great place to work.

Relationships with Children

Each Day, the Child Care Exchange sends out informational emails on the world of Early Childhood Development and Education, which I try to share with you. For more info, please see their website at www.childcareExchange.com.
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Lilian Katz has spent many years conducting workshops for teachers, parents, and students all over the world. During those workshops, she often refers to her son Stephen, and what she has termed the "intellectual emergencies" she experienced during the years he was growing up. Her responses to these "emergencies," the moments when he analyzed her actions and challenged her decisions as a parent and a teacher, are presented in this insightful, witty book.

With music and words from Stephen incorporated into the book, Katz presents an inspirational work for parents and teachers, or anyone who has ever looked into the face of a child and wondered if she/he was making the right choices.

In her book, "Intellectual Emergencies: Some Reflections on Mothering and Teaching," Lilian Katz makes these two observations about teachers' relationships with children:

"Relationships cannot be developed in a vacuum; we have to relate to each other about something — something that matters to the participants in the relationship. The content of our relationship with children should not be mainly about rules, regulations, and conduct, but about their increasing knowledge and developing understandings of those things within and around them worth knowing more about and understanding more deeply, more fully, and more accurately."

"Cultivate the habit of speaking to children as people — people with minds — usually lively ones. Appeal to their good sense. It is not necessary to be sweet, silly, or sentimental at one extreme, or somber, grim, or harsh at the other end. Let us be genuine, direct, honest, serious, and warm with them, and about them — and sometimes humorous too."

Just Enough

Each Day, the Child Care Exchange sends out informational emails on the world of Early Childhood Development and Education, which I try to share with you. For more info, please see their website at www.childcareExchange.com.

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Teachers and child care workers who favor a child-centered approach in their classrooms often encourage children solve their own problems, be responsible for their own achievements. We know, however, that there are times when a little adult intervention may be what's necessary to aid a child "just enough."

According to Alice Honig in her book, Little Kids, Big Worries: Stress-Busting Tips for Early Childhood Classrooms,"Children can accomplish some tasks on their own after trying hard. Others are too easy or too difficult. Children get restless and bored when toys or tasks are too easy. They feel frustrated when tasks are too challenging. The Russian child-development theorist Vygotsky taught that adults or more capable peers are priceless in supporting child learning and accomplishment when a task is just a bit too difficult at the child's present level of development. Then a teaching adult provides just that bit of help that will result in further child learning and satisfaction. Vygotsky used the term 'zone of proximal development' for the difference between what a child can do on his or her own compared with what the child can do with adult help. With the assistance of an adult or more capable child, a child will be able to succeed at a cognitive or social learning task beyond what he or she could have accomplished alone."

They key is to allow the child to do what they can on their own, but to be there, available to help when necessary.

The Impact of Early Childhood Poverty on Adult Attainment

A study, "Early-Childhood Poverty and Adult Attainment, Behavior and Health," reported in Education Week (March 3, 2010) concludes that living in poverty before age 5 can have a critical impact on children's earnings trajectories 30 years later. (The original study report can be found in Child Development, January/February 2010, Volume 81, Number 1, Pages 306–325.)

"Greg J. Duncan, an education professor at the University of California, Irvine, and his colleagues analyzed data on a nationally representative sample of people born between 1968 and 1975. More so than any other periods of childhood, the researchers found, poverty in early childhood was strongly linked to having lower earnings and fewer work hours 30 years later. The researchers estimate that a $3,000 annual increase in family income between a child's prenatal year and 5th birthday is associated with a 19 percent increase in earnings and an additional 135 work hours a year for that child down the road."

No ties on Father’s Day. Just a thanks to Dad for calling the Poison Center

No ties on Father’s Day. Just a thanks to Dad for calling the Poison Center
It’s a good thing Mr. Yuk is around when trouble finds its way into the home of an unsuspecting dad. Luckily for thousands of dads that have needed help, the Poison Information Specialists at the Washington Poison Center (WAPC) have remained a free phone call away.

In 2009, just over 6,000 fathers called the Poison Hotline, 1-800-222-1222, in need of information to help their children. Dads calling the Poison Center account for 9% of the total calls of human exposures. This year is looking to be on a similar track of calls from fathers to the WAPC.

“As a father myself, I know how hard it can be to manage the house,” said Jim Williams, Executive Director of the Washington Poison Center. “What all dads need to remember is whatever just happened, it is likely another dad has recently called the Poison Center for it, too.”

The top substances fathers have recently called the WAPC for are: medications, cosmetic/personal care products, household cleaning products and foreign bodies.
“I panicked,” said Devon McCollum of Kent and 39-year-old father of a 4 ½-year-old son. “We were preparing our elderly cat’s medication, which gets dissolved in water and put in a syringe. The next thing I knew, my 3-year-old son, Matthew is spitting something out and telling me how disgusting it tasted. I saw the empty syringe of cat medication nearby.”

When his son was born, McCollum programmed the number for Poison Control into his cell phone which he used to dial for help the day his son ingested the cat medication.

“I got an expert on the line who told me the cat medicine wouldn't be harmful this one time,” recalls McCollum. “I was told Matthew would be pretty drowsy, but it wasn’t an emergency room visit or stomach pump situation. Sure enough, the kid was out like a light with no other side effects. Thank goodness someone was able to help us so quickly and we were able to avoid an unnecessary 9-1-1 call. The specialist also calmed my nerves because I knew they were experts and had great credibility.”

Every dad should have easy access to the Poison Hotline toll-free number, 1-800-222-1222. McCollum recommends all fathers program the number into their cell phone “just in case.” Displaying the Mr. Yuk stickers and/or magnets in your home is also an easy way to keep the number within reach. To get stickers and magnets for your home, call the WAPC at 1-800-222-1222 and ask – it does not have to be an emergency to call.

“Don’t be afraid, or hesitate to give our experts a call,” Williams said. “Just remember many fathers have been in a similar position and called the WAPC during a difficult situation.”

Calls to the Poison Center are free and confidential (a $30 credit card fee will apply to calls regarding animals). Services are available for non-English speakers and for the deaf and hearing impaired. For more information, visit www.wapc.org.

Deaconess interns graduate from college

Deaconess Children’s Services is proud to announce the graduation of two of our interns, Crystal Davis and Ashley Hilson. Crystal graduated from Oregon State University with a Bachelor’s degree in Human Development and Family Sciences. Ashley graduated from Central Washington University with a Bachelor’s degree in Family Studies.

Crystal and Ashley completed their internship experience as co-facilitators in our Child Development program, demonstrating exemplary skills in organizing activities, maintaining class routines, and showing care and compassion for children who have experienced abuse and/or neglect. The duo also built a strong team of volunteers who worked tirelessly to meet the needs of the children in their group. The staff at Deaconess is thrilled to recognize Crystal’s and Ashley’s accomplishments in school and in their dedication to the Deaconess children they served during their time with us. Thank you and congratulations to you both!

Local student organizes other students to benefit children in Everett and Snohomish County

Deaconess Children’s Services would like to acknowledge and give a great big thank you to Archbishop Murphy High School Senior, Kaitlyn Kelly, and the students/families of St. Mary Magdalen School for their generosity in supporting the children in Everett and Snohomish County!

“The more we give, the more we have to give.” Such is the philosophy of the students/teachers/community at St. Mary Magdalen, according to Archbishop Murphy High School student, Kaitlyn Kelly. As part of her learning at Archbishop Murphy, Kaitlyn served her local community by designing and carrying out a service project to benefit the children who participate in Deaconess Children’s Services activities and programs. Kaitlyn worked closely with the principal of St Mary Magdalen School, Sister Joanne McCauley, and her students who enthusiastically supported the effort.

During Catholic Schools Week, the first week of February, the students at St. Mary Magdalen School celebrated with many special events. On one of the days, they had "breakfast for lunch" and were also able to forego wearing their traditional school uniforms for “comfy” clothes. To participate in the non-uniform day, students were requested to make a donation of new PJ’s or a stuffed toy. To no surprise, the students and families of St. Mary Magdalen were quick to embrace the opportunity to support Deaconess Children’s Services. For those who wanted to support the project, but didn’t necessarily want to go shopping, Kaitlyn had another inspiration. She created a way for families to add-on a cash donation to their "breakfast for lunch order" in the amount of $5, $10 or $15. Kaitlyn said, “I'm truly glad I thought of this because it ended up amounting to $640 in ‘no strings attached’ cash donations for Deaconess!” Students generously donated 55 brand new pairs of pajamas and 34 brand new, soft, cuddly friends.

While planned well ahead of time, Kaitlyn’s service project to support the Deaconess Child ended up coinciding with the terrible tragedy in Haiti. When asked for her thoughts on whether the earthquake impacted her project, Kaitlyn eloquently stated,

“What the community of St Mary Magdalen taught me is that, the more we give, the more we have to give. When we think there’s nothing else left, we find we’ve still got more to offer. The power of hope, and the deep root of our faith are bottomless.”

“While I put a lot of heart and soul into planning this project, what I couldn't plan for was the catastrophic earthquake that struck Haiti on January 12. In response to the devastation faced in Haiti, the St. Mary Magdalen community rallied and quickly made plans to find ways to raise desperately needed funds which they were most successful in doing. …In the end, what I find most heartwarming about the generosity extended by the community at St. Mary Magdalen, is that our efforts to support Deaconess ended up coinciding precisely at the same time we began unexpectedly raising money as well for relief efforts in Haiti.”

“In all respects, I am gratified to let you know it (PJ’s for the Deaconess Child) was a great success. …I think we told a great story this week …and the beauty of this tale was that it was written by everyone at St Mary Magdalen, and as far as I'm concerned, it was a Pulitzer Prize winning novel! I am so grateful that I was able to be a part of the story and that Deaconess Children's Services shared in a very important chapter.”

We agree, Kaitlyn, and Deaconess Children’s Services is delighted to have been part of the story. Thank you on behalf of all the children and families.

Deaconess Volunteers share more than just their time

Deaconess couldn't provide the high quality services that it does to children and families without the support of dedicated volunteers. This week, we'd like to highlight two volunteers who generously give their time and talent to cooking for all of our families taking part in our parenting classes every week: Jeanne and Sandy.

Jeanne's story:

Jeanne is a busy professional woman who spends time with her husband and two teenagers. Her hobbies, in addition to cooking, are reading, Farmville (always looking for neighbors) and playing bridge. She also loves listening to Mariners baseball games on the radio. We asked why she volunteers for Deaconess:

"Why do I volunteer as a cook for Deaconess?"

"I'm sure it's the blood of my Italian grandmother running thick in my veins. I like to cook more than my family likes to eat. I even love grocery shopping. Cooking for a Deaconess class is especially satisfying because I've heard some of the families say that my dinner was the healthiest, most balanced meal they ate all week."

A lot of people have liked the spinach salad:

Spinach Salad

Mix:
1 lb fresh spinach, torn into small pieces
1 c red grapes
1 apple, diced
½ dry roasted peanuts
2 T chopped green onion
1 T toasted sesame seeds

Toss with Dressing:
3 T oil
2 T white or red wine vinegar
1 T chopped chutney
1 t curry powder
salt to taste
dry mustard to taste ( ¼ - ½ teaspoon)

We LOVE the Spinach salad and that Jeanne puts her love of cooking into eery meal. Thanks, Jeanne!

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Sandy's story:

"I started volunteering because I was bored. My kids are all grown and after the last one moved out of the house I found myself playing on the computer every night and getting into a funk. A couple friends told me I needed to get out more and that I should find a volunteer job. It not only gets you out of the house but you’ll feel better about yourself when helping others. I think I have some very smart friends. Cooking is one of my favorite things to do and the first night I searched, I found Deaconess looking for a cook. Match made in heaven."

Chicken Tortilla Soup (feeds 4-6)

1lb Chicken breast (cut up in 1 inch cubes)
1 small onion (diced)
3 cloves garlic (finely chopped)
1 small carrot (diced)
1 bell pepper (chopped in 1x1 squares)
2 small cans chicken broth (swanson is the best)
1 small can white beans
2 packets taco seasoning
3 tortillas
Vegetable oil

Sauté the chicken in some oil adding 1 packet of seasoning while cooking. Cook till done.

Add the veggies and sauté another 5 minutes, add other packet of seasoning.

Pour in the chicken broth + 1 can of water.

Drain and add the beans.

Let simmer for 20 minutes or so.

Pre-heat oven to 350.

Use a pastry brush to brush oil on the tortillas. I usually sprinkle a little paprika and/or cayenne on them. Cut them into strips and put them on a baking sheet and bake for 10 minutes or until golden brown.

Break some tortilla chips into the bowl. Laddell soup over top. Yummy!

And for the unhealthy – top with

Sour cream
Avocado
Cheese.

We definitely find Sandy and Deaconess to be a "match made in Heaven." Thanks, Sandy! :-)

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Thanks, ladies! You offer so much to the children and families we serve. We are truly grateful for your time and dedication!

Legislation Labeling Children at Risk - More Harm than Good

Deaconess Children's Services statement against Washington State Senate Bill 6249:

Labeling and name calling is a past time that has been handed down for many generations. It is something that happens in every part of our community from the top leaders in government to the children who claim their power on playgrounds. The repercussions of labeling, especially for children, can be painful and memorable. Recently, Senate Bill 6249 was introduced to stake a claim in promoting positive labels in our state laws, rules and regulations by changing negative words “at risk” and “disadvantaged” to “Kids at Hope.” However, when you look closely at the legal documents, you see the word, “student” being deleted in most cases. It is unclear how this will change will affect a child’s perception of themselves. More importantly, it is also unclear how this impacts the change that is needed for more pressing children’s issues. The time has come to advocate in support of what children need most – to be healthy, safe, engaged, supported and challenged in life.

Proposed Legislation SB 6249

Sen. Rosa Franklin appears to have altruistic intensions introducing a bill, SB 6249, to the Senate that would attempt to clear labeling of children in our laws, rules and regulations within Washington State. Central to this bill is the idea that, “Negative labels, such as, ‘at risk’ and ‘disadvantaged’ can be devastating to children by making them feel defeated and helpless about what the negative label says about them. The labels become a self-fulfilling prophecy that adults unconsciously adopt.” This is particularly relevant for adults and caregivers who are working directly with children.

It is difficult to argue one of the key points the bill poses: “Every child is unique. They have different interests, talents, skills, personalities and come from homes with different cultures, socio-economic levels, and education levels.” As a society, we need to be more intentional and conscientious about the language we use and the behaviors we model and how they both work together to influence a child’s self-worth. Our differences should be celebrated and honored by every person who touches a child’s life; however, to change the wording from “at risk” to “kids at hope,” might actually do more harm than good.

There are several reasons to vote against SB 6249. One is that it will take money, time and energy away from urgent policy matters and redirect lawmakers from focusing on deeply pressing children’s issues, which are directly linked to the causes placing Washington’s children “at risk,” in the first place. SB 6249 focuses on semantics in laws and distracts us away from basic “human” needs of children, such as poverty, homelessness, abuse, neglect, and obesity.

Child Emotional Abuse is Linked to Social, Emotional and Academic Health Concerns

In a longitudinal study, “A Neurodevelopmental Perspective of Emotional Abuse,” Egeland and colleagues researched a high risk poverty sample and show the effects of child emotional abuse in a high risk poverty sample. They concluded that these children develop an insecure attachment to caregivers, noncompliance, low persistence, low enthusiasm, poor concentration, and declines in cognitive and motor competence across the first several years of life. By school age, child emotional abuse was associated with high levels of negativity, impulsivity, poor social competence, low academic achievement, and increased psychopathology (see Erickson, Egeland, & Pianta, 1989)

Here are a few additional reasons to vote “No” on SB 6249:

• There is a general principle in life that, if you don’t name it, you can’t claim it. Everything in life must work in balance to create harmony. SB 6249 doesn’t address the fact that the labels “at risk” and “disadvantaged” describe the challenges children face, versus label children.
• A label is still a label, meaning, no matter what label you give children, they will still stand out from the crowd. Simply changing the tone of a label does not take the label away. SB 6249 doesn’t address research on how changing the label from “at risk” on a policy, law, rule or regulation will change a child’s self-perception and self-esteem.
• By taking away the real issues that children face we downplay the evidence needed to justify government spending and resources in this area. This bill could actually end up tying the hands of legislators to pass future legislation or authorize funding needed to protect children. If children are no longer “at risk,” the public may question why they need to be supported or protected at all.

We Already Know What Works

Here are some possible solutions to helping children who experience adversity from negative labeling:

1. Focus efforts on legislation that prevents children from being “at risk” or “disadvantaged” in the first place, such as, poverty, homelessness and child abuse and neglect.
2. Develop legislation which puts into place anti-bias and cultural awareness programs, training and curriculum for children and adults; and develop an educational campaign that builds awareness around this issue with parents, schools and agencies that touch a child’s life.
3. Support evidence based programs that build emotional intelligence in children and adults who are closest to them.

The Promise of Evidence-Based Programs

There are several such evidence based programs which promote the proposed solutions above and are currently implemented throughout the state with promising results. These programs include: The Incredible Years (for parents and teachers), Parent Child Interactive Therapy (PCIT), Project Safecare, Promoting First Relationships, Triple P., Parents as Teachers and the Nurturing Parenting Program, among others.

Since 2003, Deaconess Children’s Services has promoted evidence-based solutions. Our experience in several of these programs demonstrates we can eliminate labels and give children hope.

If we are to get our state back on track with job creation and an economic surplus, then we need to create a generation that thrives with the 21st century skills necessary to invent products, build cultural bridges and serve people in our state. By investing in children, honoring their rights as humans, and putting their needs first, we not only strengthen them as individuals, but we also strengthen the very fabric of our society and our economy. These steps put the whole child first and position Washington for a brighter future.

Deaconess Children’s Services is a champion of hope and opportunity for children and their families, especially those in greatest need; empowering them to BELIEVE in a life full of possibilities. For 112 years, Deaconess has been transforming the lives of children throughout the Pacific Northwest by breaking the cycle of child abuse and neglect and putting Children First.

For more information, please contact:

Felicia Freeman
President
Deaconess Children’s Services
4708 Dogwood Drive, Everett, WA 98203
P.O. Box 2629, Everett, WA 98213-2629
(425) 259-0146
(425) 293-0333 direct
(425) 346-8414 cell
www.deaconesschildren.org