By Kari Pendray, MA Human Development
Thank you for joining us for our 4-part interactive series on how we can find a solution to be the change we need in the world for children. Each week, we are moving forward in the change process together for a common goal of putting “Children First.” In Part 1 of this series, we queried our followers, “What is working well with putting children first?” The cumulative response was that you wanted to learn more. This month, in Part 2, we will ask, “What do we dare to dream for our youth?
There are a variety of opinions on how children develop into whole, healthy and successful adults. However, there are a handful of highly respected organizations whose daily mantra for children intersects with five key strategic platforms. These organizations leading dropout prevention include: America’s Promise Alliance’s 5 Promises, The National Governors Association, Communities in School and the Association for Supervision and Curriculum Development’s Whole Child Initiative. They all agree on five high level priorities that all children deserve: physical and emotional health, safety, community connection with caring and nurturing adults and a challenging education. By achieving these five targets, we ensure that the foundation for brain development is set and children have a better chance at success later in life. For more information on early brain development, please go to the Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University – “The Science of Early Childhood Development” at http://developingchild.harvard.edu/topics/science_of_early_childhood/
We know that children who have adverse childhood experiences face many obstacles in their lives. We know that criminals are made, not born. We know that child abuse and neglect has irreversible affects on the developing brain. We know that a whole child approach can prevent all of this. We also know that our country can have more great leaders, better health outcomes, generate more inventions, improve the environment, and lead the world in every way. All we have to do is commit to meeting the needs of the whole child.
What does your vision for children look like? How can every child become whole and live to their fullest potential? We want to hear from you!
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Kari Pendray is a Parent Educator at Deaconess Children’s Services. She holds a Bachelor of Arts degree in Psychology and a Master of Arts degree in Human Development. She is a PCI Certified Parent Coach ™ with over twenty years experience in client services, facilitation and training; and ten years of experience coaching and consulting clients with parenting, life and career skills. Kari is also the parent of two amazing children.
About Deaconess Children Services
Deaconess Children’s Services, founded in 1898, is the leading service provider of child abuse and neglect prevention programs in Snohomish County. Deaconess Children’s Services supports at-risk children and families with high impact, evidence-based prevention and early intervention programs that focus on building individuals’ strengths, positive relationships and supportive networks through parent education, child development and advocacy programs. To learn more, visit us at www.deaconesschildren.org, on facebook at www.facebook.com/deaconesschildren or call 425-259-0146.
For 114 years, Deaconess has been transforming the lives of children in the Pacific Northwest by breaking the cycle of child abuse and neglect and putting Children First!
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Monday, March 14, 2011
What if we have an earthquake here? - Tips to respond and help support your children while wading through the news
By: Chanelle Carlin, M.A. Soc. Sci.
Earthquakes, tsunamis, political unrest...the trauma and devastation being flashed upon our television and computer screens over the past few weeks (not to mention our smart phones, ipads and radios), has been significant. For those living through the trauma, our hearts and best wishes go out to them. For those of us watching from a distance, I thought it might be helpful to review a few quick tips on how to help support our children and young people as they process all the information being thrown at them.
Tip #1: Please limit the amount of screen time your children have.
Studies in the US currently indicate that on average, children are in front of a screen for about 7 hours per day (TV, computer, games, Wii, smart phones, etc.). While child development experts believe that this amount of screen exposure doesn't aid a child's development, at times like this, when much of what is on the screen is traumatic, they tell us can cause symptoms of post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), including nightmares, changes in behavior and emotional responses.
Tip 2: Listen to your children.
They are likely to have a lot of questions, such as: Why did this Earthquake happen? What causes a tsunami to wipe out a city? What will happen if the nuclear plant explodes? Will we feel it here? Can this happen to us? It can be overwhelming to be bombarded with questions like these. According to Dr. John Medina, developmental molecular biologist and author of "Brain Rules" and "Brain Rules for Babies," (http://www.brainrules.net/brain-rules-for-baby), children are 'rookie human beings' whose raison d'etre is merely to figure out how to survive in this world. If we keep this in mind, their questions seem much easier to handle.
Tip 3: Please be honest with your child.
If you're comfortable in your scientific knowledge, it's a great idea to answer your child's questions in a manner that they can comprehend. If not, it's also ok to tell them you don't know the answer. This is a great learning opportunity for you both - a trip to the library could be very helpful in gathering information and having time together, which in itself could help alleviate any concerns they're having. Perhaps you can work together with your child to develop a safety plan for your family and put together disaster preparedness kits. This can help them feel as though they are more prepared in case of an emergency here.
Tip 4: Rely on your strength - your child's love.
You are the most important person in your child's life and you know them better than anyone:
- They come to you when they're afraid to seek solace. Hug them. Spend a few extra minutes letting them know how much you love them and that you will do everything in your power to always keep them safe. If you're a person of faith and it helps you, pray with them.
- They come to you for information to increase their knowledge and security. Listen to them and talk with them, even when they're young. By giving them a chance to express their thoughts and feelings, you empower them and give them courage. For very young children, when you identify their feelings, you help them increase their vocabulary and their security. You might even find a way for your family to get involved with the Red Cross or another reputable disaster relief agency, http://www.redcross.org/ . This can again, help them and you, feel like they're being helpful to someone who's needs might be greater than theirs.
- Help your child by showing them that you are sometimes afraid too, and that it is ok.
For older youth, children whose parent(s) travel a lot, or even where one or both parents are deployed with the military, one might think these children are immune to fear, or "used to it." For some, this may in deed seem to be the case, while for others it may not be hidden so well. All children need to feel safe, but also to know that their concerns are valid and ok to feel. Often, they just need someone to listen.
The key is to recognize that all children need support and guidance, especially in times of uncertainty, and they rely on adults to give that support and guidance.
******************
Chanelle Carlin has over 25 years experience working with children and families both in the United States and internationally and currently works as the Vice President of Programs at Deaconess Children's Services in her hometown of Everett, Washington. Chanelle earned her Bachelor's degree in History from Portland State University in Oregon and her Master's Degree in Social Science from The Open University in Great Britain. Chanelle is also very active in her community. She serves as a Children's Commissioner on the Snohomish County Children's Commission, as a member of the Everett Rotary Club and Laureate Gamma Mu chapter of Beta Sigma Phi, as a Camp Fire Leader and as a member of the county, state and National Assns for the Education of Young Children.
Deaconess Children’s Services is a champion of hope and opportunity for children and their families, especially those in greatest need, empowering them to BELIEVE in a life full of possibilities. For more than 100 years, Deaconess has been transforming the lives of children in thePacific Northwest by breaking the cycle of child abuse and neglect and putting Children First!
Earthquakes, tsunamis, political unrest...the trauma and devastation being flashed upon our television and computer screens over the past few weeks (not to mention our smart phones, ipads and radios), has been significant. For those living through the trauma, our hearts and best wishes go out to them. For those of us watching from a distance, I thought it might be helpful to review a few quick tips on how to help support our children and young people as they process all the information being thrown at them.
Tip #1: Please limit the amount of screen time your children have.
Studies in the US currently indicate that on average, children are in front of a screen for about 7 hours per day (TV, computer, games, Wii, smart phones, etc.). While child development experts believe that this amount of screen exposure doesn't aid a child's development, at times like this, when much of what is on the screen is traumatic, they tell us can cause symptoms of post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), including nightmares, changes in behavior and emotional responses.
Tip 2: Listen to your children.
They are likely to have a lot of questions, such as: Why did this Earthquake happen? What causes a tsunami to wipe out a city? What will happen if the nuclear plant explodes? Will we feel it here? Can this happen to us? It can be overwhelming to be bombarded with questions like these. According to Dr. John Medina, developmental molecular biologist and author of "Brain Rules" and "Brain Rules for Babies," (http://www.brainrules.net/brain-rules-for-baby), children are 'rookie human beings' whose raison d'etre is merely to figure out how to survive in this world. If we keep this in mind, their questions seem much easier to handle.
Tip 3: Please be honest with your child.
If you're comfortable in your scientific knowledge, it's a great idea to answer your child's questions in a manner that they can comprehend. If not, it's also ok to tell them you don't know the answer. This is a great learning opportunity for you both - a trip to the library could be very helpful in gathering information and having time together, which in itself could help alleviate any concerns they're having. Perhaps you can work together with your child to develop a safety plan for your family and put together disaster preparedness kits. This can help them feel as though they are more prepared in case of an emergency here.
Tip 4: Rely on your strength - your child's love.
You are the most important person in your child's life and you know them better than anyone:
- They come to you when they're afraid to seek solace. Hug them. Spend a few extra minutes letting them know how much you love them and that you will do everything in your power to always keep them safe. If you're a person of faith and it helps you, pray with them.
- They come to you for information to increase their knowledge and security. Listen to them and talk with them, even when they're young. By giving them a chance to express their thoughts and feelings, you empower them and give them courage. For very young children, when you identify their feelings, you help them increase their vocabulary and their security. You might even find a way for your family to get involved with the Red Cross or another reputable disaster relief agency, http://www.redcross.org/ . This can again, help them and you, feel like they're being helpful to someone who's needs might be greater than theirs.
- Help your child by showing them that you are sometimes afraid too, and that it is ok.
For older youth, children whose parent(s) travel a lot, or even where one or both parents are deployed with the military, one might think these children are immune to fear, or "used to it." For some, this may in deed seem to be the case, while for others it may not be hidden so well. All children need to feel safe, but also to know that their concerns are valid and ok to feel. Often, they just need someone to listen.
The key is to recognize that all children need support and guidance, especially in times of uncertainty, and they rely on adults to give that support and guidance.
******************
Chanelle Carlin has over 25 years experience working with children and families both in the United States and internationally and currently works as the Vice President of Programs at Deaconess Children's Services in her hometown of Everett, Washington. Chanelle earned her Bachelor's degree in History from Portland State University in Oregon and her Master's Degree in Social Science from The Open University in Great Britain. Chanelle is also very active in her community. She serves as a Children's Commissioner on the Snohomish County Children's Commission, as a member of the Everett Rotary Club and Laureate Gamma Mu chapter of Beta Sigma Phi, as a Camp Fire Leader and as a member of the county, state and National Assns for the Education of Young Children.
Deaconess Children’s Services is a champion of hope and opportunity for children and their families, especially those in greatest need, empowering them to BELIEVE in a life full of possibilities. For more than 100 years, Deaconess has been transforming the lives of children in the
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