Putting Children first while honoring Fathers and Mothers

It is said that being a parent is the most difficult job in the world and the one that most parents will tell you they love the best. Much research and attention has been devoted over many years to motherhood and its vital role in the rearing of children. Deaconess Children’s Services wholeheartedly acknowledges and supports this research. However, we all know that mothers cannot and should not be solely responsible for rearing the next generation of our society.

The statistics are staggering. Almost 24 million American children grow up in a home without a father and nearly half of those children have not seen their father in the previous year! To create a climate for men to remain involved with their children and be committed to providing financial support even if their adult relationship is no longer intact, fathers must believe their role is vital and that they have value themselves. Mothers must believe that fathers will step up to a shared parenting role, that their children benefit greatly from involvement with their fathers and encourage them to spend time with their children even when the adult relationship is over.

Children who have close relationships with their fathers have higher self-esteem, better academic performance, more positive social behaviors and fewer behavioral issues during adolescence. This even holds true with children involved in the child welfare system. Studies of these children show that those who have contact with even a non-custodial father within the past year were 46% less likely to enter foster care. Deaconess works with parents for the sake of vulnerable children for this very reason.

At Deaconess, we feel it’s important to recognize the vital role that mothers and fathers play not only in their children’s lives, but also in our community. On October 1, 2010, Deaconess Children's Services will celebrate 113 years of putting children first by hosting the 6th Annual Father and Mother of the Year Awards ceremony at Forest Park in Everett, WA. It's going to be a great night including beautiful desserts, a wine auction, a raffle with fabulous big ticket items, including a 50” Plasma TV donated by Panasonic Avionics Corporation, our trademark fashion show for the moms, inspirational speakers for the fathers, and much, much more!

So…mark your calendars for October 1st, pick your favorite bottle of wine to donate to our wine auction, program your GPS for Forest Park and join us for this free event!

Event Specifics:

Who: Deaconess Children’s Services
What: Father and Mother of the Year Awards
When: 6:00pm-8:00 pm on October 1st, 2010
Where: Floral Hall, Forest Park @ 802 E. Mukilteo Blvd. Everett, WA 98203

Please RSVP with Stacey Pfeiffer at 425-259-0146 or spfeiffer@deaconesschildren.org

We look forward to celebrating with you!

Two Words...oops

I'd first like to say thank you to everyone who took the time to read yesterday's article, "Two Words." It's gratifying for us to have the community acknowledge other members of the community supporting our children.

It seems we were remiss in thanking one group, so now seems like a good time to correct that mistake.

Gary Rhodes and the Road Kill Crew didn't just donate 10 pounds of prime rib. They also donated the full use of the banquet facility at the Marysville Masonic Center, meal preparation, and 80 pounds of Angus Rib Roast (Prime Rib), plus all other components of the dinner.

Thank you again to Gary, the Road Kill Crew and all the other volunteers and donors to the event. You made it successful and you allow Deaconess Children's Services to continue putting children first and transforming the lives of children by breaking the cycle of child abuse and neglect.

Two Words...

There are two words that, when spoken, have the most unfathomable power to completely change your life…THANK YOU.

Recently, a Hot August Nights fundraising event was held in Marysville, Washington to raise funds for some of our programs. Deaconess would like to say Thank You to everyone who helped make it such a huge success!

First, to our dedicated Deaconess volunteers and their families/friends who continue to offer their time and energy whenever asked:

*Deborah Bivens – serving the wine and singing for the guests
*Rebecca Fernandez – set up and clean up volunteer
*Sandy Fletcher – car show and clean up volunteer
*Bill Kehle – clean up volunteer
*Melissa Lewis – clean up volunteer
*Matt McMiller – set up and clean up volunteer
*Peggy McMiller – set up and clean up volunteer
*Holly Murphy – event coordinator and all around magician
*Jim Murphy – car show volunteer
*Shawna Murphy – car show volunteer
*Tricia Murphy – car show volunteer
*Mollie Ragland – set up and clean up volunteer
*Al Warren – set up and clean up volunteer
*Jed Wheeler – clean up volunteer

The following business and individuals also contributed items or time in support of The Deaconess Child at the Hot August Nights event:

* David George Jazz Quartet, Seattle, WA for delighting us with their great music for the evening;
* Chateau Ste. Michelle for contributing for 2 cases of wine;
* The Vintage Chevrolet Club of America and other classic car owners for donating their time and vehicles to support our event;
* Blockbuster on 20th & Broadway for the “Night in at the movies”;
* Governor Christine Gregoire for designing the beautiful handmade purse;
* Smokey Point Massage for donating 2 massages;
* Gary Rhodes for donating his huge 27 pound freshly caught king salmon;
* Caryl Estes & the Estes Group for the Flameless Candle Collection;
* Holiday Inn of Everett for the Overnight Stay;
* O’Reilly’s Auto Supply for hosting the car show site;
* J.L. Scott Realty for hosting the car show site;
* Antonville Winery for donating 16 bottles of wine;
* Gary Rhodes and the Road Kill Crew for donation of 10 pounds of cooked prime rib;
* Boy Scouts of America – Marysville Troop 84 for their help in serving dinner; and
* Job’s Daughters – Bethel 50 who also graciously served our guests dinner and throughout the evening.

The following grocery store bakeries donated desserts for our Dessert Dash:

* Central Market-Mill Creek: Jim Huffman, Manager, Debra, Megan and your Bakery Team
* Safeway-75th and Evergreen Way: Tom Novak, Store Manager and your Bakery Team
* Albertsons-Madison and Evergreen Way: Joe, Store Manager, Dawn and Bakery Team
* QFC-Claremont: Linda Scholl, Store Manager, Judy, Bookkeeper, and the Bakery Team
* Safeway-41st and Rucker: Gwynn, Store Manager, Linda, Cat and your Bakery Team
* Albertsons-Marysville (4th and State): Sherry, Store Manager and Bakery Team

We’d also like to recognize some of our local representatives and personalities that contributed to the success of the event:

* John McCoy, Washington State Representative for District 38;
* Mike Sells, Washington State Representative for District 38;
* Mark Roe, Snohomish County Prosecuting Attorney and his wife, Lisa Paul;
* Shahram Hadiam, Candidate for State Representative; and
* Marlee Ginter, KOMO 4 News Reporter, for graciously emcee-ing our event.

A huge Thank Youto each one of you for your support of the Deaconess Child. We can’t thank you enough.

Eliminating Transitions

Each day the Child Care Exchange sends out informational emails on the world of Early Childhood Development, Education and Professional Development, which I try to share with you. For more info or to receive their emails directly, please see their website at Child Care Exchange.
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Barb Gallick and Lisa Lee’s article, "Eliminating Transitions," talked about the challenges transitions present for children and adults. While it is primarily geared for those working in Early Childhood and child care settings, I believe the information is also useful to parents who are helping their young children learn to transition from one activity to another.

"As adults, we often find ourselves transitioning from one activity to another in a short time span. Most of the time, we don’t feel we have a lot of control over our schedules, but wish that we could carve out extended time to relax and focus on one project.”

If we relate this scenario to the way a daily schedule unfolds in an early childhood setting, we might begin to see how young children feel each time we ask them to transition from one activity to another. Picture a group of children in the block area who have spent 15 or 20 minutes building an elaborate car wash. They have just gotten to the point where they will be using cars to develop a story and act it out when the teacher says it’s time to clean up for snack. Of course, after snack there’s group time and then the class will be heading outside. Are these children also wishing that they could have had an extended time to relax and focus on enjoying their car wash and the dramatic play possibilities? Do they also feel like they have no control over their schedule?

"Having a daily schedule that creates routines for young children is an essential part of every child’s life whether at home or in an early childhood classroom. Whether the head teacher in an early learning classroom or the parent who home schools their children, evaluating the daily schedule on a regular basis is an integral part of creating an environment that meets the needs of both the children and adults who ‘live’ in that ‘classroom’ each day. We would suggest that you look (with a critical eye) at your daily schedule once a year to determine whether it works for you and the children. One of the most important things to consider when reviewing your schedule is the number of transitions that occur throughout the day.

"Transitions tend to be some of the most difficult and stressful moments in an early childhood classroom. At these times teachers often find themselves dealing with more challenging behaviors and feeling more like police officers than nurturing caregivers. If you are feeling uncomfortable or frustrated during transition times, that is a sign that your current schedule may need to be revised to better meet the needs and developmental levels of the children in your care."

For more specific tips, or to read the entire article, please go to: http://www.childcareexchange.com/resources/view_article.php?article_id=5019448&page=3&keyword_id=

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DEACONESS call to Parents:

You are the experts when it comes to your children and we would love to hear from you. Please feel free to comment or send us an email at info@deaconesschildren.org and let us know what you would like to see on our blog.

Please feel free to join us on Facebook as well at Deaconess Children's services.

Gender Differences

Each Day, the Child Care Exchange sends out informational emails on the world of Early Childhood Development, Education and Professional Development, which I try to share with you. For more info, please see their website at www.childcareExchange.com.
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".... There's very little solid evidence of gender-based differences in kids' brains," reports Lise Eliot, author of Pink Brain, Blue Brain (Boston: Houghton-Mifflin, 2009), in Work & Family Life (December 2009). "To be sure, there are natural differences. But these become magnified through our parenting, marketing, and especially through children's own culture. Indeed, infant brains are so malleable that small differences at birth become amplified over time as parents, teachers, and the culture unwittingly encourages gender stereotypes."

Eliot does, in fact, discuss differences that do exist in the earliest years...

"Early in infancy, boys are a bit larger but, surprisingly, are more vulnerable than girls. They are more likely to be fussier, harder to soothe, and, by three or four months of age, less socially attuned. Boys' senses of touch, smell, and hearing are likely to be a little less acute than girls' — and their language, memory, and fine motor skills also lag during the first year of life.

"Where boys do tend to excel is in their gross motor development — sitting, standing, and walking at the same ages as girls, despite their slower maturation. While girls are easier to care for and more socially aware, they typically do not get as much encouragement as boys do for their physical development and emotional independence — two concerns that become pronounced later in childhood but can be addressed in infancy. The earlier parents are aware of the particular needs of boys and girls, as well as the power of gender stereotyping, the better chance they will have to help kids reach their full potential."

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DEACONESS call to parents:

In our experience, gained working with thousands of children and parents over the last 112 years, some children will fit the desciptions in this article and some will not. Please comment and tell us about your experiences as you've watched your child(ren) move through their developmental stages and the things you've noticed. We love to hear from you.

Excellence and Frivolity

Each Day, the Child Care Exchange sends out informational emails on the world of Early Childhood Development, Education and Professional Development, which I try to share with you. For more info, please see their website at www.childcareExchange.com.
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"Are you having fun? It's one of the best indicators of organizational vitality — yet we don't value it much." This is what Nancy Austin asserts in her book (authored with Tom Peters), A Passion for Excellence (New York: Grand Central Publishing, 1989). She observes that one of the "8 tough lessons" in the pursuit of excellence is to "inject the frivolity factor":

"While most of us would like to work for (or be) the accessible, accountable enthusiast whose eyes light up when talking about a new product or service, it somehow doesn't seem right. When I was in graduate school, "fun" and "passion" weren't part of my business vocabulary. Instead, we were drilled in emotional detachment and control. And complicated busi ness terminology — instead of plain English — was held up as the preferred language of the professional manager.

"That kind of thinking puts a damper on the enthusiasm that should be part of a successful and well-run enterprise. A fun business atmosphere can cultivate customers as well as good ideas — so lighten up!"

One of the ways we “lighten up” here at Deaconess Children’s Services is through regular, free to in-expensive team building activities which include coffee team meetings, lunches, hiking trips and even the odd wintertime holiday shopping excursion. It gives us a chance to bond with one another, which helps make Deaconess a great place to work.

Relationships with Children

Each Day, the Child Care Exchange sends out informational emails on the world of Early Childhood Development and Education, which I try to share with you. For more info, please see their website at www.childcareExchange.com.
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Lilian Katz has spent many years conducting workshops for teachers, parents, and students all over the world. During those workshops, she often refers to her son Stephen, and what she has termed the "intellectual emergencies" she experienced during the years he was growing up. Her responses to these "emergencies," the moments when he analyzed her actions and challenged her decisions as a parent and a teacher, are presented in this insightful, witty book.

With music and words from Stephen incorporated into the book, Katz presents an inspirational work for parents and teachers, or anyone who has ever looked into the face of a child and wondered if she/he was making the right choices.

In her book, "Intellectual Emergencies: Some Reflections on Mothering and Teaching," Lilian Katz makes these two observations about teachers' relationships with children:

"Relationships cannot be developed in a vacuum; we have to relate to each other about something — something that matters to the participants in the relationship. The content of our relationship with children should not be mainly about rules, regulations, and conduct, but about their increasing knowledge and developing understandings of those things within and around them worth knowing more about and understanding more deeply, more fully, and more accurately."

"Cultivate the habit of speaking to children as people — people with minds — usually lively ones. Appeal to their good sense. It is not necessary to be sweet, silly, or sentimental at one extreme, or somber, grim, or harsh at the other end. Let us be genuine, direct, honest, serious, and warm with them, and about them — and sometimes humorous too."